Raining for the past few day yeah...just like my heart...rain and rain and rain...no sunshine to make me active and alive again...You al can say i'm emo now...whatever...yes i am...so...?

Many things have been troubling me for the past few day...financial problem...relationship problem...blah blah blah...i can't even have a proper sleep at night...therefore i'm here to make a stupid and meaningless post...

Now then i know what kind of person i am...uncontented...greedy...proud...stubborn...attitude...problematic...unfriendly...irritating...reckless person...i don't have any good things for people to say...all i get from people is " oh that nicholas... a notorous guy..." and yup...thats the fact...i always deny it...now after what someone had said...i have to learn to accept the fact and be contented with what i have...once its gone...it will not come back...

I've tried to love someone...but always get the bad ending...Either the one i like choose someone else...if not will break up in the end...i blame no one but myself...i'm always the one who ruined everything...always mess up everything...i hate myself...really...how i wish i could just vanish from the surface of this earth and go back to where i belong...why they wanna sent me down and take all these suffering...?

I got so many buddy...but how many really care about me...?

Pauline : really thanks for your help my girl...borrow me money to settle my things...i really owe u too much...


Wan Zhen : Thanks for being my sister yeah...i really trust u and Pauline very much...


Syamiran : you are the best lil bro i ever had...seeing u so happy with her oso make me happy...stay happy yeah...


Li Ting : be more confident in yourself yeah...going out with you are always the thing i look forward to...


I really don't know how to handle relationship things...really...i've tried to be a better person...and yeah...i've proven that i'm not good at relationship at all...sorry to those that i've have hurt before...