Just woke up , at such an hour . Haha . Insomnia again i guess . Many thought running through my head for the past few day . Am i making the right choice ? Things are totally different from what it use to be . I can't believe things would turn out this way and make you change so dramatically . You are no longer the one i used to know , the cheerful and truthful person . Everything is my fault . I deserve all the punishment . But why would you go overboard on certain thing which is unnecessary ? and fyi , i don't message you just for the sake of message . I want to earn your trust back , but you don't give me the chance to .

Making life difficult is very easy . Just find fault in whatever i do , and thats what you are doing now . Everyone have their limit , me too . Why won't you just let me off ? I'm sick and tired of you picking on me . Seriously . I have bring myself down and apologize , cos i know i've done wrong . What more do you want ? All you think is about effort , but have you thought of the TIME needed for the effort to be seen ? You expect someone to change within 2 days ? 3 days ? a month ?

Paranoid , you have it , and i have it too . why ? Because we CHOOSE to . I understand you think a lot . But why won't you just forget the past and move on ? I've already made the effort to move on , do you ? Maybe just , its just that i never notice it . Standing at the same spot and don't move on leads you nowhere , neither it do you any good .

I've repeated all these things over and over again to you , be it on the phone or via sms . Listening to it , i leave it to you . I don't have the right to decide for you . No matter what , just give me an answer , to end it or continue walk this path with me .

Things changed alot , badly . I've screwed my relationship up . Now , we're giving each other time to cool down . After so many thing happened , i found out what is true love . Someone you think about every minute every second , someone you can do without with , and its my Mel . I can't stop thinking of you , can't stop thinking of the things we've done , both good and bad .

5 months ago , we start knowing and chatting with each other , via msn chat . I know i've made a wise choice . Cos its the start of a true love . No one can imagine how much we've done , How far we've gone to . Your birthday celebration , Christmas day , New year eve , valentine's day and my birthday . We spend all these important and romantic days together . We made a promised to each other that we gonna spend all these special event over and over again .

Its very hard and unbelievable for your parent to accept me , but eventually they did , and i am so glad and happy about it . They don't mind me staying over your house over long period of time , They don't mind me using facilities of your house . I still remember i always asked you to help me with this and that , like a maid . ^^ .

Now , its hard to get back that kind of feeling . With both of us busy with our own stuff , we hardly meet up , let alone staying at your house . I miss Niao Niao ,i miss your parent , and eventually i miss you . For the past one month , i know i've done the biggest mistake in my life . I can never forgive myself too . I hate loneliness , i always want to have somebody to be there for me . But this time , i sunk too much with one of my good friend . I confessed after you found out from your friend . I admitted , its all my fault . I've no one but myself to be blamed . Sorry isn't enough , action shall prove my sincerity and give me time yeah . Maybe this week of cool down period allows me to win your heart back . I want the old Mel Mel , whom laugh when i talk , whom care for me 24/7 . I'm really sorry and hope we can get back like we use to be . Its hard , but at least we try .

P.S , Mel I Love You .

woooo ~ Finally i'm dropping down to PES C L2 . Which mean , R.O.D lo !!! No more re-service after this two year , no need to attend IPPT from now on , and most importantly , no more exercise !!!

5 month of being together is not hard to most of the people out there , but for me , its quite difficult . For a person who can't settle down , now he finally did it . 14th of December 2008 , the day when we begin . love you .


* Lastly , happy birthday to my boy-friend , Alan Choo !!! Enjoy your day to the fullest , and happy 2 years knowing you !!